Do Engagements Matter?

We are all familiar with hilarious engagement "fails" on youtube when the girl typically rejects the guys proposal without anymore information as the viewer. However, this often proposes an important question within itself; does how we get engaged matter?

I personally think that is determined between the couple, but most importantly the person getting thrown the question. As an individual who has been proposed to before, I can say from my experience that YES, how someone proposes does matter.. at least to me.

If my significant other is proposing, I want to feel secure in the relationship that we currently hold. It's important to know that they are serious about sharing the rest of their life in a committed relationship to which we support, learn, and grow together even throughout the most difficult of times. It's important to me personally that permission is granted from parents before the act of preposing happens and that my parents are made aware of the seriousness of this relationship.

According to https://www.thrillist.com/, research found that about 94% of couples talk about getting engaged within about 6 months of actually doing so. Research also found that about 30% of these couples talked about engagement or marriage at least once a week. According to Zola, about 60% of couple have at least part of their wedding planned out before actually getting engaged. Why is this? The biggest and most popular reason being is security. Both partners have an inner desire to feel secure and safe in their relationship to know the appropriate steps to move it in the right direction. This often has me questioning those couples we watch on youtube with the failed engagements if their preparation included discussions before hand and if so, how in depth? Could it also be that how the proposal was expressed, whether privately or publicly had a huge influence on the decision? 

Engagements are more sedimental when done privately (not in front of a large group of people), however some may prefer the whole shebang of making it a huge public event. Is it possible that because some couples make their engagement a public viewing that the typically the girl or significant other getting popped the question is more likely to say "yes" than making a scene? According to a few youtube video's it still happens yet many still agree to getting engaged out of public pressure. No one wants to hurt another person's feeling in front of a large group of family and friends. Yet even tho some do agree to getting married, about 20% of couples end up breaking off their engagements. -I being part of that percentage.

Does how we get engaged matter? -YES! But most importantly, how a couple plans their wedding together is crucial to the success of their marriage. Gentleman and women who allow your significant other to plan the entire wedding and claim they don't care, this is YOUR wedding too. I've heard too many times from guys in general that the wedding is for the women and to please her, but what really pleases her is when you also care about your future together, including planning a wedding whether it be big or small, your input is vital.

After getting engaged back in 2015, I quickly learned that the man who proposed wasn't as serious about getting married to me after all which was easily seen in the lack of his efforts to plan a life with me that he claimed he so badly wanted. In some questions you might have regarding the engagement process, no I had no idea he would be proposing because we didn't talk about it. Yes, I felt pressure to say yes to his engagement as we were still in the learning phase, getting to know each other better and me being a young teenager who doesn't know how to hurt someones feelings.

When you get engaged, you are then planning your life with someone and it shouldn't be taken lightly yet it also shouldn't scare you away from taking that step with someone spectacular. In the end, follow your heart, communicate and work together with your special someone in growing a life and family that you can be proud of.

I would love to hear about any personal engagement "fails or success stories! Comment below or feel free to send me an email.