Trillions of Titles

One of my favorite jobs I've ever had was being a daycare teacher. I came to understand that the word “teacher” is too broad of a title; simply one cannot be a teacher without also being a counselor/psychologist, psychic, police officer, detective, personal nurse, custodian, comedian, and my favorite of all.. librarian (that is when the kids are the quietest). At our daycare we had something called D.E.A.R (Drop Everything And Read) time where the students are to silently read a book for 30 minutes while the “teacher” turns into a custodian -cleaning up spilt milk, lunch crumbs, and other tasks around the classroom. Let's just say this job kept you on your toes!

Similarly, our mothers also hold various titles, doing all they can to love and support their nest. I was reminded of an incredible video that was posted on youtube in May of 2014, which a few men created a fake job then posted it online and in the newspapers. They got many responses and then held actual interviews and the responses of the job candidates were priceless. If you haven't seen this video, please give it a watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWcJZ210AaM

Truth is we all hold numerous titles as individuals that describes who we are. These multiple titles also contribute to roles within our families. These roles might sometimes come through a collection of behaviors, attitudes, and responsibilities. For example, most oldest siblings (alike myself) grow up taking on higher responsibilities when both parents aren't around. They become the temporary caretakers. Multiple studies were preformed in the past 20 years concerning the typical social roles within the birth order of children. Stereotypically, the firstborn child tends to be competitive and bossy, while the youngest child seems to be more creative and attention-seeking. One of the most interesting fact I've read repetitively concerning the middle child is that they mostly act as the peacemakers within the family and very loyal. Are these stereotypical roles true for your family?

Family roles also shape how we interact with each other in our family systems. Understanding these main family roles can help us grow meaningful and safe relationships with each of our family members. Some main family roles may consist of a hero, rescuer, mediator, scapegoat, switchboard, power broker, lost child, clown, cheerleader, nurturer, thinker, truth teller, and more. What roles do you recognize in your family already and which roles would you like to see more of?

Within my own family, I was often made out to be the scapegoat/black sheep. Each family is their own system, and is made up of many smaller systems called sub-systems. Usually the executive system are the parents (mom and dad), while the sub-systems are examples of father/son, mother/daughter, sibling favoritism, etc. Being the co-parent when the executive sub-system (mom and dad) weren't around often made me the middle man between my two youngest brothers in their own sub-system and my parent's in their executive sub-system. I often felt confused as to where I fit in and when to play the role of parent and when to back off. Fingers seemed to always be pointing in my direction but in a sense, I'm grateful for the experience to be raised in the imperfect home I was in, and learn from being the oldest sibling.

What family systems are you able to recognize and do they possibly have any connection to their family role? Maybe it's the order of birth that has effected the roles in your own family? I would love to hear from YOU and what makes your family so unique. Please feel free to share your family stories.